Right:Good Wrong:Bad
I’ve yet to encounter a person who finds genuine delight in being wrong. I personally, find none. Admitting our wrongdoing is so unbearable in fact, that many of us would rather experience physical pain in replacement. The most hilarious thing of all, is how frequently humans are wrong in general. If we are wrong so often, why would it be so difficult to admit? Per usual, I have my notions, so let’s dive in.
Why is there so much discomfort in being wrong?
Many of us are taught that ‘“wrong is bad, right is good.” This makes enough sense - growing up, the ‘right’ way often keeps us safe. If we are taught the correct positioning to hold a knife (in a form which won’t hurt us) we are likely to continue using the knife as we are taught. We choose the method which has kept us from harm, the method of which we are familiar. As humans are built to be survivors, we are constantly seeking mechanisms for safety. I believe this to be the reason for our aversion to what may counter us. We want to keep ourselves safe. Right is good, wrong is bad. Right is safe, wrong is dangerous…
What emotions do we feel?
When proven wrong, first emotions that come to mind include embarrassment, possibly shame, confusion, irritation, remorse, discomfort- to name a few. These emotions are unfavorable to most, however, exposure to what we don’t know, reveals the truth, and “A Few Good Men” said it best:
“You can't handle the truth!”
And oftentimes, we cannot. But possibly it is not the truth we can’t handle, but instead, the fear of what we believe the truth makes of us. What if I, or you, or whomever else, were to change our lens of right and wrong? What if, instead of “wrong:bad, right:good”, we changed our outlook to a constant pursuit of truth? We take in all information, and process to understand rather than to dispute. With this approach, all of a sudden the emotions initially placed in wrongfulness might be redirected. Instead of shame, confusion, and discomfort stemming from our “wrongness”, an alternative outlook might manifest through consideration, growth, discernment, and so forth. Easier said than done, but why does this simple switch seem so ideological?
What is Ego? And not in a “woo woo” way
Ego is a word thrown around frequently and recklessly, with many definitions and philosophies circulating around it. Plainly put, the essence of “ego” is self-esteem or a sense of self-importance. Now, the role ego plays into definitions of soul, or its place as good and bad in our lives, takes on an entirely different argument. For now, let’s stick to self-esteem. Why can our ego, or self-esteem, become bruised when in the face of conflict? Moreover- when proven against? Well, it could be due to our perception of reduced self-importance when we are admitting failure.
If we place our intrinsic value in the notion of wrong:bad, right:good”, we lend ourselves to a constantly bruised ego- inevitably so, since we fail so frequently. And if our self worth is tied to being right or wrong, then of course we will have issues admitting flaws- even in the face of only ourselves. Admitting that we are wrong to other people? Forget about it- we have been set up, and continually set ourselves up, for the damage that non-admittance creates.
Now, if we place our own value in seeking the truth, the “good” and “bad” that we perceive now becomes untethered to our own doing. Our value resides within honesty, authenticity, finding answers, and solving problems, rather than proving our own hypothesis.
The truth sets us free
What freedom there is in being untethered to an outcome or ideology! How much better it is to be an explorer, an observer, listener, an engaged learner- a philosopher.
Rather than letting our nurture and culture act as a totalitarian force in shaping our beliefs, what if we allowed truth seeking and a conscious mind to lead charge? If becoming empowered to challenge, question, and reason acted as our guide, possibly our caveman value system of “wrong:bad, right:good”, would dwindle away and instead a new, reformed, system would emerge? Or perhaps not. But the least we can do for ourselves is to hold space for evaluation. If we can’t stand to recognize our bias, we can’t stand to recognize, at all.
Thank you for your support in reading. I value you, and appreciate your willingness to take the time. I wish you well.