I Chased Joy for One Year

This year I made it my mission

to chase joy, and this is how it went:

Prelude

This decision to chase joy as an undying assignment began in October of 2022, after exiting a serious relationship. I realized that I had been part of back to back relationships, totaling eight years, which encompassed my entire adult life. In these partnerships I learned magnitudes about myself as a companion, but knowledge of individual self was underdeveloped. This obscured sense of wavering identity commissioned me to a path of chasing what my heart longed for; joy.

Before delving further, the difference between joy and happiness must be distinguished. Joy is an inner feeling, happiness is an outward expression. My chase was inward rather than mere perception. I will break these into steps for easy digestion. 

Getting started

Step one was to determine my goals, wants, dreams. You cannot get what you truly desire until you have an inkling as to how that picture is painted, and what it could even look like. In plain English; you can’t get what you want until you know.  For some reason this notion was lost on me until recently, previously shaded by a theory that ‘working hard will bring success’. This is fractionally true, working hard will foster an excellent environment for producing ‘success’, but firstly, you must define the recipe and ingredient list for your success to simmer.

Using myself as an example: growing up, I upheld a standard of hard work with ambition, but lacked my own detailed vision. I earned relatively respectable grades in school, achieved an athletic scholarship, and later began down a reasonable, corporate career path. I was “checking all the boxes”, so to speak, living a life generally recognized and approved by others. 

My point: my life was a definition of success to many, but not my own definition of success, and therein which lies the gap. 

What does it look like? 

What does joy look like? This is a very personal question, therefore it possesses an enhanced difficulty to describe generally, therefore I will not begin to define for everyone.

For me, joy is being healthy, aligned, motivated, spontaneous, and intuitive. I experience joy when acting in love, mercy, and holding a mutual respect towards myself and others, even if I don’t feel respect is warranted. Joy is achieving, experiencing, growing, and feeling. After mentally picturing what joy looks like in my life, I was able to ‘get a grip’, and determine what actionable items are needed to achieve this inner fulfillment. 

Tuning in can be difficult, at least for me it is. There is so much noise from life pulling in all directions- what greatly helps me is movement, followed by quiet time to sit around and ponder. Sometimes this looks like yoga and meditation, other times it is an intense workout and a sauna. I am not telling you to workout, though it is beneficial of course, but rather that finding an effective strategy for tuning in and truly listening has advanced me in this area. 

Actions

Actions are arguably the most difficult piece, primarily because action requires effort. Before embarking on my solo travel journey in Latin America, I could scream my plan from the mountaintops to friends and family, but my plan was just an idea until I’d bought the ticket, reserved the accommodation, then finally, actually making the leap and getting onto the flight.

The point is, I was aware that leaving my comfort zone would be moderately terrifying, but that doing so would cultivate fulfillment and purpose. I knew that leaving would satisfy my inner cravings of adventure, understanding, and capability, which would lead to an improved sense of self and inner joy.

I would like to ensure that this point is not misconstrued or misinterpreted, what I am not saying is that you must have a remote job and leave the country to experience joy. What I am saying, is that seeking out reachable areas in life which bring fulfillment, action toward clear goals, and ultimately discipline, will harvest joy. 

Discipline and distraction

Remember when we defined joy and happiness as two different things?Joy = Inner feeling, Happy = Outer expression. Keeping this in mind, it is important to note that discipline does not always mean happiness. I fall victim to this on many accounts, thinking that I am listening to my ‘inner voice’ because I am chasing the quick supply of happiness or distraction. 

An example of this for me might be doom scrolling perusing memes on my phone for three hours instead of stretching, writing in my journal, then finally, enjoying a casual meme scroll of 20 minutes with a morning Yerba Mate. The latter routine provides balance, the former does not. 

Viewing discipline through a longer term lens was helpful for me. The ship of aiming for perfection has sailed, but the idea of growth in every circumstance is afloat and cruising. It is so easy to be self-critical when misaligned, and though reflection is of utmost importance, dwelling on the past is not conducive to growth. Course correction can occur without self-induced feelings of guilt and shame. As of now, when I get off the joyful path, my goal is to reflect, see it for what it is, learn, and move on. We cannot change the past.

The Results

The difficulty in determining someone else’s life joy is impossible, and simply stating ‘I am so joyful’, proves nothing.  We live in a world where achievement determines credibility, I don’t like the idea of sharing to be celebrated, however, I do want to establish credibility in hopes that some takeaways resonate. Please take this with utmost humility, I do not aim to boast, but my goal is to ignite feelings of capability in the reader. 

After one full year of chasing joy, I have taken on 9 countries alone, transitioned to another role within my company,  advanced my education in the product space, eliminated lingering debt, created my own website and blog which you are reading now, bought a home in Italy, began renovating that home by myself, and am in fact, experiencing joy. 

I don’t want a round of applause, but to hopefully serve as a reminder that so much can change within one year. Mentality is critical, and clarity is the difference between working hard for someone’s goal, and working hard for your goal. 

This season was all about identifying and understanding true joy and its importance in my life. Whatever the ‘mission statement’ may be, I believe it can be accomplished through simply getting started, identifying what the trait looks like in ones’ life, making actions toward that principle, and staying disciplined long-term to reap the benefits. Follow intuition and trust your gut, we are so capable.

Thank you for reading as always and wishing you well.