To See without Knowing

I was catching up with a friend of mine who is entirely exquisite -intelligent, cultured, humble, and she recently created and released an exemplary guided meditation on Spotify.

We got to chatting about the importance of sharing (in the context of creation),  when seemingly out of nowhere, she asked if there is anything plaguing my mind, and if so, to let her know and she would cater a meditation to that idea, because typically if one person is handling a certain emotion, others are as well. 

Anything Plaguing your mind?

This hit me like a brick - over the past week, I did in fact have a few things plaguing my mind. Possibly due to recent circumstances of friends’ families experiencing hard times, death, and other traumas, the concept of mortality has been top of mind. 

The person trickling through my thoughts most is my younger brother, possibly because he is still a child, he is 15 now but a very innocent 15 at that (or at least I’d like to think so, maybe he’s fooling us). I have been experiencing an overwhelming rush of gratitude for him, my family, my support system, but adjacent to these favorable emotions, presents an uneasiness in the fear of losing the people I love. 

Monumental events = Monumental change

Why does it seem to take monumental happenings to create change of thought, awakening, ‘Nirvana’ if you will? The first initial thought that comes to mind is the inability to recognize something without its counter. The same intensity that you have for a thing can only be exploited by its opposite, and I have found that to be quite true in my own life. 

We can all imagine something abhorrent, but without it happening to us, or near to us, it can be very difficult to comprehend and feel the complexity in that unfortunate happening. I think this is where empathy comes in, and maybe true empathy is a skill in which many of us lack, or try to mask. 

The reality of our complexity is spotlighted by our true incapability of ‘stepping into someone else’s shoes’ so to speak. We can try, try, try, but without knowing that feeling, it is nearly impossible to understand the gravity of others’ situations.

What can we do? How can we prepare? 

What comes to my heart is forging complete submission to feelings of gratitude, leaning into and recognizing all the positive in our lives. There is incredible strength in vulnerability, and it took a friend asking about what's on my mind, to even recognize that there was

To give backstory, I had cried unexpectedly this week, and aiming to practice awareness through that, I let myself feel it all but had no understanding of why or where it was coming from. I knew that my brother was on my mind, but failed to comprehend the reason.

 It took a friend asking what I’m feeling to even consider it, and this is coming from someone who makes a valiant effort to create awareness of thought. 

What’s the takeaway here? 

Check in on your tribe, show them your love, live in gratitude, vulnerability, kindness, live life with intention so there isn’t a thought to glance back and wonder if you loved enough, or the right way. I am so grateful that my friend asked, and even more grateful that I have such beautiful people in my life who lift one another up.

I’d rather give more love than I am receiving, than look back to regret what I didn’t give, but that’s just me. I don’t want to live with regrets, and I think the fear of loss may stem greatly from the idea that the person, idea, or whatever it may be, wasn’t appreciated to its full capacity. 

I still have a worrisome heart over my younger brother for no reason at all, but I find gratitude in the idea that I love someone so fiercely that my world could be shattered without them. 

 I hope this novice consciousness sparks conversation or thought for you to pass along the love. I wholeheartedly believe that loving is what we are made for!

Thank you for creating the space in your day to read my writing, it truly means the world to me, and even though I may not know who you are, I appreciate you!


Previous
Previous

Packing List - Months out of a Backpack

Next
Next

Medellín, Colombia - The Do’s and Don’ts